Last Wednesday night,(08/18/10) I am sitting home alone already in my pj's watching tv and talking on the phone with my friend Kathy, when my cell phone rings. It is my nephew, Nick, he wants to know if it is alright for him to come over and see me. Of course I say just give me time to get dressed!!!
About 10 minutes later he is at the front door with his girlfriend Kerri. He has come to say goodbye as he was leaving for college on Thursday! I looked at his young man and thought where have the last 18 years gone? How did he grow up so fast? He can't be old enough to go to college.
I missed the first four years of his life as my brother did not allow me around his family. So I only had fourteen years to watch him grow. I remember the first time I took him to the movies, the day I bought him his first baseball bat and glove and day I taught him how to pee outside behind grandma's bush!!
I went to every soccer game, every football game from middle school to his senior year. I even became the secretary for the Weir Football Boosters for a child that was not mine. I am not asking for a pat on a back from anyone. I just want people to know how much joy nieces and nephews can bring to a woman who never married and because of that never had children of her own.
Has we sat here and talked that night he told me he didn't know if he wanted to be a pharmcist or a doctor. He said he really wanted to be a doctor. I told him that he has to do what he thinks will make him happy not what makes everbody else happy. I told him he can't worry about pleasing the world he has to decide what is going to please him. We weren't put on this earth to make the whole world happy we were put here to find our purpose in life and find happiness within ourselves with no matter what path we choose to take.
As he got up to leave I had to stand on my toes to hug him. Fourteen years ago I was picking him up and hugging him. Now he is a man who I am so proud to call my adult nephew. Now if I could just quit crying!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Family
What makes a perfect family? Is there such a thing as a perfect family? And if there is what makes a perfect family? I am one of five children, the only girl and the oldest. My birth father waked out when I was 3 years old leaving my mom, myself and my two brothers: Michael and Mark. When I was 5 my birth father signed away his parental rights so that my step dad could adopt us. When I was 5 my brother Sean was born, when I was 11 my brother Brian was born. When I was 43 years of age my brother Sean quit speaking to me. When I was 47 my brother Brian quit speaking to me, when I was 49 my brother Mark quit speaking to me. I still have no idea what my brother Michael is doing. I thought when I was 47 he quit speaking to me but yet he came to visit me when I was 48. I have sent several correspondences to him but he has never replied to one of them. So i guess now at the age of 49 he has quit talking to me!
Now I know I am no angle or a saint or perfect in any way but beleive me my brothers aren't either. All though I do have to say that the two youngest were pretty good kids. Michael, Mark and myself being full blood related siblings have the worst of relationships. You would think that the three of us would have the best releationship. We have done things to each other over the years and one brother thinks he is better than us other two and caused a lot of pain to our parents over the years but we let it go for our mothers sake. We let go the fact that he would not acknowledge us in public, said mean hateful things to us, said mean hateful things to our parents, did not invite us to his wedding, did not allow us in his home until 14 years ago. We let that all go and tried our best to get along.
And you would think that after all this time bygones would be bygones but low and behold our little brother slapped us in the face once again by not acknowleding us as an aunt and an uncle to his son. So now once again a family feud has irrupted and it is all my fault. My fault that my feelings were hurt that no picture of me, or my other brother or my other nieces were put into a video he made for his son's graduation party! After all the free babysitting, all of my personal time I gave up to help out with football boosters so his son would have food to eat after a game, or water to drink during a game, or raising money to support the organization, after not missing one single football game, going to my nieces volleyball games, all the money put out for birthday presents, christmas presnets, easter presents. Do I need to go on. And the best part - I never got a thank you. Never a thank you for the babysitting, painting the stadium, giving gifts of money. Not one damn thank you.
And I have no right to be upset because my picture, my other brothers picture or my other nieces picture were left out of a video for my nephew to see all the people who have been there for him throughout his life and cared for him. I have every right to be upset. And because I am upset I have been banned from his life once again. Not that I will miss my brother but I will miss my niece and nephew.
To quote my brothers wife:"Life goes on". And it will for me. I have no anger or spite in me I have pitty for two people who will have nothing once their children are gone! And life will go on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I know I am no angle or a saint or perfect in any way but beleive me my brothers aren't either. All though I do have to say that the two youngest were pretty good kids. Michael, Mark and myself being full blood related siblings have the worst of relationships. You would think that the three of us would have the best releationship. We have done things to each other over the years and one brother thinks he is better than us other two and caused a lot of pain to our parents over the years but we let it go for our mothers sake. We let go the fact that he would not acknowledge us in public, said mean hateful things to us, said mean hateful things to our parents, did not invite us to his wedding, did not allow us in his home until 14 years ago. We let that all go and tried our best to get along.
And you would think that after all this time bygones would be bygones but low and behold our little brother slapped us in the face once again by not acknowleding us as an aunt and an uncle to his son. So now once again a family feud has irrupted and it is all my fault. My fault that my feelings were hurt that no picture of me, or my other brother or my other nieces were put into a video he made for his son's graduation party! After all the free babysitting, all of my personal time I gave up to help out with football boosters so his son would have food to eat after a game, or water to drink during a game, or raising money to support the organization, after not missing one single football game, going to my nieces volleyball games, all the money put out for birthday presents, christmas presnets, easter presents. Do I need to go on. And the best part - I never got a thank you. Never a thank you for the babysitting, painting the stadium, giving gifts of money. Not one damn thank you.
And I have no right to be upset because my picture, my other brothers picture or my other nieces picture were left out of a video for my nephew to see all the people who have been there for him throughout his life and cared for him. I have every right to be upset. And because I am upset I have been banned from his life once again. Not that I will miss my brother but I will miss my niece and nephew.
To quote my brothers wife:"Life goes on". And it will for me. I have no anger or spite in me I have pitty for two people who will have nothing once their children are gone! And life will go on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Mother's Day
Tomorrow is Mother's Day! Tomorrow will be my 49th Mother's Day with my mom. Of course I don't remember those Mother Day's when I was very young nor did I go all out in my teenage years. I would have to say that I really started putting thought into Mothers Day was when I was in my 30's. I have tried to make the last few really count.
I just called my mom an hour go and cried to her because I am sick. I have hives all over my face, legs and torso! Hives the day before Mother's Day. Now it was a lot more than the hives that made me cry. Menopause is kicking my ass and I called mom to tell her about my hives, my bad period and the mess it caused in my house. She sat and listend. She wanted to come over but I told her no that if the hives got worse I would call her so she could take me to the hospital. I am 49 years old and I still want my mom when I am sick. I still want comfort from my mom when I am sick.
My mom and I had some ruff times in the 49 years I have been on this earth. My teenage years were rebelous, my 20's were pretty wild, my 30's I finally moved out of the house. We still had some ruff years in my 30's. In my 40's we have finally become friends.
No matter how many times I treated her like shit, ignored her, yelled at her, rebelled against her or just plain told her I wanted no part of her. She never gave up on me. She continued to love me and continued to be my mom. And let me tell you I was not an easy child to raise. Because of some things that happened to me I took it out on her. And I did not realize until my 40's that I should of turned to her for help when all those things were happening to me and she could of made it better. But I didn't and now I wish I would of.
No matter how old we get we always need our mom's. I have no husband, I have no children but I have my mom and I hope and pray that God allows her to be with me here on Earth for a several more years.
I just called my mom an hour go and cried to her because I am sick. I have hives all over my face, legs and torso! Hives the day before Mother's Day. Now it was a lot more than the hives that made me cry. Menopause is kicking my ass and I called mom to tell her about my hives, my bad period and the mess it caused in my house. She sat and listend. She wanted to come over but I told her no that if the hives got worse I would call her so she could take me to the hospital. I am 49 years old and I still want my mom when I am sick. I still want comfort from my mom when I am sick.
My mom and I had some ruff times in the 49 years I have been on this earth. My teenage years were rebelous, my 20's were pretty wild, my 30's I finally moved out of the house. We still had some ruff years in my 30's. In my 40's we have finally become friends.
No matter how many times I treated her like shit, ignored her, yelled at her, rebelled against her or just plain told her I wanted no part of her. She never gave up on me. She continued to love me and continued to be my mom. And let me tell you I was not an easy child to raise. Because of some things that happened to me I took it out on her. And I did not realize until my 40's that I should of turned to her for help when all those things were happening to me and she could of made it better. But I didn't and now I wish I would of.
No matter how old we get we always need our mom's. I have no husband, I have no children but I have my mom and I hope and pray that God allows her to be with me here on Earth for a several more years.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The size of a person
The other day a person asked me if I knew so and so and I said yes, why? She said well I heard she was huge! I looked at her with daggers in my eyes! As an over weight person I was offended by this remark and who an the hell cares how much a person weighs? Isn't it what is on the inside of a person than the size of the person?
Just because someone is over weight does that make them a bad person? Why is it so important what makes a person a person by the how much they weigh? No one in this world is perfect only God is perfect. We should not judge one another by how much they weigh but by how much their heart weighs. Just because a person is over weight does not mean they don't love, they don't care, they don't have compassion, they don't emphasize, they don't sympathise. What has happened to this world? What have we become?
I have been over weight most of my life but that does not mean I don't have feelings for people, that I don't love, that I don't understand, that I don't care what happens to a person or their family. Just because I am over weight doesn't make me less of a person.
And to quote Cameron Manheim when she won her first Emmy "Here's to all the fat girls of the world". We rock!
Just because someone is over weight does that make them a bad person? Why is it so important what makes a person a person by the how much they weigh? No one in this world is perfect only God is perfect. We should not judge one another by how much they weigh but by how much their heart weighs. Just because a person is over weight does not mean they don't love, they don't care, they don't have compassion, they don't emphasize, they don't sympathise. What has happened to this world? What have we become?
I have been over weight most of my life but that does not mean I don't have feelings for people, that I don't love, that I don't understand, that I don't care what happens to a person or their family. Just because I am over weight doesn't make me less of a person.
And to quote Cameron Manheim when she won her first Emmy "Here's to all the fat girls of the world". We rock!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
First and Last Client of the Day
My 9:00 appointment was on time for the first time. My 9:00 appointment was stoned out of her mind. My 9:00 appointment had put her kids on the bus before she came to the office. She walked out of the office with major benefits. No thank you, no have a nice day!
My last client of the day was a 66 year old widow living off of $860.00 per month. She had a shut off on her electric which we paid for. The woman qualified for food stamps and medicaid and you know what she told me? She didn't want the benefits. She said there more people out there that needed them more than her. She said she did not want to prevent someone else from receiving benefits. I explained to her that she would not prevent anyone from receiving benefits if she received the ones she was entitled to. I pleaded and begged her for an hour to accept the benefits and she refused!
It broke my heart! I never wanted to help someone so much since I began this job 12 years ago. The one client that I could help and she refused the benefits. She was to proud to accept help. There are good and decent people in this world and I truely beleive this woman is one of them.
As I walked her to the exit door she thanked me for the help I gave her and told me to have a nice day!
My last client of the day was a 66 year old widow living off of $860.00 per month. She had a shut off on her electric which we paid for. The woman qualified for food stamps and medicaid and you know what she told me? She didn't want the benefits. She said there more people out there that needed them more than her. She said she did not want to prevent someone else from receiving benefits. I explained to her that she would not prevent anyone from receiving benefits if she received the ones she was entitled to. I pleaded and begged her for an hour to accept the benefits and she refused!
It broke my heart! I never wanted to help someone so much since I began this job 12 years ago. The one client that I could help and she refused the benefits. She was to proud to accept help. There are good and decent people in this world and I truely beleive this woman is one of them.
As I walked her to the exit door she thanked me for the help I gave her and told me to have a nice day!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Christine Smith Freeze
As many of you know I was without a computer on February 24, 2010. On that day my dear cousin Chris lost her battle with cancer. I could not post as I had no computer. I just got my computer back yesterday and after getting caught on Facebook I went and got caught up with my emails. And there in the mass of emails was the email from Chris' sister Robbie to the family telling of us of Chris' death and attached a copy of her obituary! Now I have known since February 24th Chris passed but it did not hit me until I went in and deleted her from my email contacts! I just hit the delete button!
Isn't it amazing how fast someone disappears from our lives? We just hit the delete button and it is final. She is gone. I will have no more contact with her. I can't email her, I can't pick up the phone and call her. I can't tell her how much she meant to me. I can't tell her how proud I was of her for all that she conquered on her short time on this planet. Or tell her thank you for always being there for me when she was 20 years old and I was 10 and she helped me make a doll. Or thank her for always spending time with me when I was such a pain in the ass child!
Yes, it finally hit me today she is gone. But I will never forget her. I have my memories, my pictures and the love I carry in my heart for her. She will always be a part of my life and always in my heart.
She was truely an amzaing person who will never be forgotten. To her daughters Tracy and BJ you were so blessed to have this woman as your mother and through the two of you her legacy will live on as her love does for the two of you even in death.
I love you Chris and my heart goes out to Tracy and BJ and her two grandsons. You were my hero.
Isn't it amazing how fast someone disappears from our lives? We just hit the delete button and it is final. She is gone. I will have no more contact with her. I can't email her, I can't pick up the phone and call her. I can't tell her how much she meant to me. I can't tell her how proud I was of her for all that she conquered on her short time on this planet. Or tell her thank you for always being there for me when she was 20 years old and I was 10 and she helped me make a doll. Or thank her for always spending time with me when I was such a pain in the ass child!
Yes, it finally hit me today she is gone. But I will never forget her. I have my memories, my pictures and the love I carry in my heart for her. She will always be a part of my life and always in my heart.
She was truely an amzaing person who will never be forgotten. To her daughters Tracy and BJ you were so blessed to have this woman as your mother and through the two of you her legacy will live on as her love does for the two of you even in death.
I love you Chris and my heart goes out to Tracy and BJ and her two grandsons. You were my hero.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Death of My Cousin
My cousin Chris passed away on Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at the age of 58. She was surrounded by her daughers and her sister when she passed. I will miss her dearly.
As soon as I get my compute up and running I will write more on this amazing woman whom was my hero!
As soon as I get my compute up and running I will write more on this amazing woman whom was my hero!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
My Day
When we wake up each morning we hope we are going to have a good day. I stress - we hope! Well let me tell you about my day and yes it went from bad to worse but it still turned out to be a good day.
I was woken up around 6:00am this morning from a very loud noise in my apartment. It scared the crap out of me. After I realized there was no one in my house, I got up to try and find out where the noise was coming from. The noise was getting louder as I approached the kitchen. The noise was really loud in the kitchen, so I knew where the noise was coming from.
Now the day before I was woken up around 5:30am by mice running through my bedroom wall! So I knew the noise in my kitchen was from the mice! I was so hoping that they had not moved inside yet. I could not find them but we know how fast they are. Once they heard me looking around they stopped whatever they were doing!
So I went back to bed and slept till 7:00! When I got up to take my shower I thought hume it is really cold in my living room. I have base board heating in my apartment. I bent down to see if there was any heat coming out of the heater and low and behold there was no heat!
So I get ready for work and as I am pulling out of my driveway, I get stuck in the snow! I try to back up and discover I am going into the snow pile on the left side of my driveway. I try one time and I am still stuck. It took me four try's to get out my driveway!
So I finally make it to work and low and behold the city has not plowed our parking lot nor the road going into our parking lot/community center parking lot. It was a mess.
So I do my eight hours of work, go Krogering after work, come home and shovel my driveway out, put my groceries away and sit down to listen to my messages on my answering machine.
My mother leaves me a message to call her back. So I call her back and tell her about my bad day and we talk awhile and she tells me the reason she is calling is to tell me that she heard from my cousin Robbie regarding Robbie's sister Chris. Chris's cancer has spread! And wow I thought I had a bad day.
When I was growing up my cousin Chris lived across the street from my grandmother so every time I went to visit grandma I was across the street with Chris. Chris is ten years older me and she was always my favorite cousin. She always had time to spend me even though I was ten years younger then her. When I would spend the night with her and Robbie they would put their twin beds together and make me sleep in the middle! But I never complained (OK, maybe a little)because I was with my cousins. And they meant the world to me. Even as Chris got older and had boyfriends, she always had time for me. She was always there for me.
Chris married an older man and I had to sever my contact with her because of my mother didn't like the way Chris went about her business. My mother would not let me see Chris once she left home. (Long story) But what my mother did not know was that Chris would call me and once I began to drive I would go visit her. Once I became an adult I was able to spend more time with Chris, who now had her first child. When she gave birth to her second child we had a falling out. She eventually moved away and after twenty years of an abusive marriage she finally divorced her husband.
We reconnected at my cousin Matt's wedding. She was the old Chris now. The Chris with all the confidence and the Chris who believed in herself. After her divorce she lucked into a great job and raised her two daughters. She was now living in Alabama so I would try and call or send cards. But you know what? I didn't call enough, I didn't' send enough cards and I never went to see her.
She was diagnosed with cancer over a year and a half ago. Never smoked a day in her life. They did surgery, they did chemo and finally she was cancer free. A day to the year she was first diagnosed the cancer came back. She under went treatment again and she had good progress. I called, I emailed, I sent cards. But I never went to see her.
Now my mother tells me tonight she is losing that battle! The tumors in her brain have not grown since her treatment but there is more in her abdomen. She is going to be put in a rehab as she is getting confused and then will be put into hospice.
This woman has been someone I have always looked up and never in her 58 years on this planet earth ever stopped and said why me? Why did this happen to me? Not only the cancer but so many other things that happened in her life that would of put most people over the edge. But not Chris. She just picked herself back up, dusted her self off and went on with her life. She never ever let the bad things in her life ruin the life she lived. She is such an amazing woman whom I am proud to call my cousin, my friend and my hero!
We go through life thinking oh I can do it tomorrow. I can make that phone call to a long distant relative or a long distant friend tomorrow. Or I will send that email, that letter tomorrow. We can reconnect tomorrow. Well guess what? Tomorrow is here and I didn't do it.
So I guess what I am trying to say is don't put it off until tomorrow. To quote Nike: "Just Do It". Tell the people around you that you care about how much they mean to you. The smallest little jester means more than you will ever know.
By the way: "How was your day?"
I was woken up around 6:00am this morning from a very loud noise in my apartment. It scared the crap out of me. After I realized there was no one in my house, I got up to try and find out where the noise was coming from. The noise was getting louder as I approached the kitchen. The noise was really loud in the kitchen, so I knew where the noise was coming from.
Now the day before I was woken up around 5:30am by mice running through my bedroom wall! So I knew the noise in my kitchen was from the mice! I was so hoping that they had not moved inside yet. I could not find them but we know how fast they are. Once they heard me looking around they stopped whatever they were doing!
So I went back to bed and slept till 7:00! When I got up to take my shower I thought hume it is really cold in my living room. I have base board heating in my apartment. I bent down to see if there was any heat coming out of the heater and low and behold there was no heat!
So I get ready for work and as I am pulling out of my driveway, I get stuck in the snow! I try to back up and discover I am going into the snow pile on the left side of my driveway. I try one time and I am still stuck. It took me four try's to get out my driveway!
So I finally make it to work and low and behold the city has not plowed our parking lot nor the road going into our parking lot/community center parking lot. It was a mess.
So I do my eight hours of work, go Krogering after work, come home and shovel my driveway out, put my groceries away and sit down to listen to my messages on my answering machine.
My mother leaves me a message to call her back. So I call her back and tell her about my bad day and we talk awhile and she tells me the reason she is calling is to tell me that she heard from my cousin Robbie regarding Robbie's sister Chris. Chris's cancer has spread! And wow I thought I had a bad day.
When I was growing up my cousin Chris lived across the street from my grandmother so every time I went to visit grandma I was across the street with Chris. Chris is ten years older me and she was always my favorite cousin. She always had time to spend me even though I was ten years younger then her. When I would spend the night with her and Robbie they would put their twin beds together and make me sleep in the middle! But I never complained (OK, maybe a little)because I was with my cousins. And they meant the world to me. Even as Chris got older and had boyfriends, she always had time for me. She was always there for me.
Chris married an older man and I had to sever my contact with her because of my mother didn't like the way Chris went about her business. My mother would not let me see Chris once she left home. (Long story) But what my mother did not know was that Chris would call me and once I began to drive I would go visit her. Once I became an adult I was able to spend more time with Chris, who now had her first child. When she gave birth to her second child we had a falling out. She eventually moved away and after twenty years of an abusive marriage she finally divorced her husband.
We reconnected at my cousin Matt's wedding. She was the old Chris now. The Chris with all the confidence and the Chris who believed in herself. After her divorce she lucked into a great job and raised her two daughters. She was now living in Alabama so I would try and call or send cards. But you know what? I didn't call enough, I didn't' send enough cards and I never went to see her.
She was diagnosed with cancer over a year and a half ago. Never smoked a day in her life. They did surgery, they did chemo and finally she was cancer free. A day to the year she was first diagnosed the cancer came back. She under went treatment again and she had good progress. I called, I emailed, I sent cards. But I never went to see her.
Now my mother tells me tonight she is losing that battle! The tumors in her brain have not grown since her treatment but there is more in her abdomen. She is going to be put in a rehab as she is getting confused and then will be put into hospice.
This woman has been someone I have always looked up and never in her 58 years on this planet earth ever stopped and said why me? Why did this happen to me? Not only the cancer but so many other things that happened in her life that would of put most people over the edge. But not Chris. She just picked herself back up, dusted her self off and went on with her life. She never ever let the bad things in her life ruin the life she lived. She is such an amazing woman whom I am proud to call my cousin, my friend and my hero!
We go through life thinking oh I can do it tomorrow. I can make that phone call to a long distant relative or a long distant friend tomorrow. Or I will send that email, that letter tomorrow. We can reconnect tomorrow. Well guess what? Tomorrow is here and I didn't do it.
So I guess what I am trying to say is don't put it off until tomorrow. To quote Nike: "Just Do It". Tell the people around you that you care about how much they mean to you. The smallest little jester means more than you will ever know.
By the way: "How was your day?"
Monday, February 15, 2010
Reality Stars, Again
Yes, I have posted this subject before and yes I am guilty of being a reality tv junky but I think I have finally had enough of the Kardashian sisters.
This week's episdoe was Khloe making a sex tape for her husband, Kourtney and Scott taking a sex class for pregnant women and their partners and Mom Kris telling her daughter's how horny she was when she was pregnant - all 6 times!
Now I am not a prude by any means but come on! Are we that desperate for rating's and money that we let the public see this private stuff? How many mothers tell their daughter's how horny they were when they were pregnant? It just blows my mind that people are that desperate to be stars!
And yes, I am taping the season finally tonight!!!!
This week's episdoe was Khloe making a sex tape for her husband, Kourtney and Scott taking a sex class for pregnant women and their partners and Mom Kris telling her daughter's how horny she was when she was pregnant - all 6 times!
Now I am not a prude by any means but come on! Are we that desperate for rating's and money that we let the public see this private stuff? How many mothers tell their daughter's how horny they were when they were pregnant? It just blows my mind that people are that desperate to be stars!
And yes, I am taping the season finally tonight!!!!
Friday, February 12, 2010
The Olympics
Today at lunch I told my coworkers that I had not blogged in a while. And her response was: "That's because you have not been pissed off lately!" I said that's true.
So I thought what can I bitch about tonight? There are several things to complain about but you know what - I don't want to complain. I want to tell you about an event that comes around every four years that keeps me glued to my tv for two weeks!
Tonight at 8:00 on NBC the opening ceremonies' will begin. And for two weeks, like so many other people, I will be watching the games. It does not matter what sport - I watch them all. When an American athlete stands on the podium, whether he is receiving a gold or bronze medal, it brings tear's to our eyes. You watch the skier, the snow boarder, the ice skater, the hockey team and they make you feel proud to be an American. I can remember watching the summer olympics and watching Michael Phelps swimming in the team relay race thinking I hope my neighbors are not looking in my front window. There I stood in the middle of my living room screaming at the tv, jumping up and down, hoping he would win the race. And when he did I was jumping up and down!
For two weeks we get to sit in front of our tv and forget our problems and watch these amazing athletes do what they love to do and say to ourselves - "WOW". I can remember as a child my father would watch The Olympics every time that they were on. We were glued to the tv set as a family. In those days you only received 8 channels and you only one tv in your house! So you had no other choice! And dad for that I thank you! The tradition lives on and everytime that an American athlete stands on that prodium with his/her metal a tear rolls down my cheek as I think of how proud I am to be an American and for bringing back the memories of my childhood.
So enjoy the opening ceremonies tonight and spend some quality time with your family because it goes by way to fast!
So I thought what can I bitch about tonight? There are several things to complain about but you know what - I don't want to complain. I want to tell you about an event that comes around every four years that keeps me glued to my tv for two weeks!
Tonight at 8:00 on NBC the opening ceremonies' will begin. And for two weeks, like so many other people, I will be watching the games. It does not matter what sport - I watch them all. When an American athlete stands on the podium, whether he is receiving a gold or bronze medal, it brings tear's to our eyes. You watch the skier, the snow boarder, the ice skater, the hockey team and they make you feel proud to be an American. I can remember watching the summer olympics and watching Michael Phelps swimming in the team relay race thinking I hope my neighbors are not looking in my front window. There I stood in the middle of my living room screaming at the tv, jumping up and down, hoping he would win the race. And when he did I was jumping up and down!
For two weeks we get to sit in front of our tv and forget our problems and watch these amazing athletes do what they love to do and say to ourselves - "WOW". I can remember as a child my father would watch The Olympics every time that they were on. We were glued to the tv set as a family. In those days you only received 8 channels and you only one tv in your house! So you had no other choice! And dad for that I thank you! The tradition lives on and everytime that an American athlete stands on that prodium with his/her metal a tear rolls down my cheek as I think of how proud I am to be an American and for bringing back the memories of my childhood.
So enjoy the opening ceremonies tonight and spend some quality time with your family because it goes by way to fast!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Friends
Last night I had dinner with 7 wonderful women that I made friends with 3 years ago thru the football boosters. One of those women was my sister in law, two of the women I had been aquainted with throughout the years, one of the women was a common denominator in my life as I went to school with her brother and her mother was my mail lady when I was younger, one I had met several years ago but never had contact with until 2005, one married a clasmate of mine and the other one I met thru the boosters.
No matter how I met these women, no matter how long I have known them, and no matter that one of them is a relative, they are all very extradorinary women! They are women I am proud to call my friends and women that are very independent women, who when asked to help out they bent over backwards to help!
As we go through life we never end our life with friends we began our life with. Sometimes we are blessed to have friends stay with us through out our lifes! I have been blessed that way with a few of my friends! And we all know that when that common dominator that holds us all together disappears (my nephew and their sons graduate this spring) we all go our seperate ways, no matter how we all say we are going to stay in touch.
Now that our one commoan dominator has disappeared we have a new common denomiator-friendship! Last night was our first group dinner date! It was nice to sit and talk and get caught up on each others lives now that football is over.
I thank God everyday for these wonderful women, and my sister in law for bringing me into the boosters, so that I could reconnect and make new friends with these wonderful women. They have brought such joy to my life and made me a better for person for knowing them.
I thank all of you and look forward to our monthly dinner meetings!
No matter how I met these women, no matter how long I have known them, and no matter that one of them is a relative, they are all very extradorinary women! They are women I am proud to call my friends and women that are very independent women, who when asked to help out they bent over backwards to help!
As we go through life we never end our life with friends we began our life with. Sometimes we are blessed to have friends stay with us through out our lifes! I have been blessed that way with a few of my friends! And we all know that when that common dominator that holds us all together disappears (my nephew and their sons graduate this spring) we all go our seperate ways, no matter how we all say we are going to stay in touch.
Now that our one commoan dominator has disappeared we have a new common denomiator-friendship! Last night was our first group dinner date! It was nice to sit and talk and get caught up on each others lives now that football is over.
I thank God everyday for these wonderful women, and my sister in law for bringing me into the boosters, so that I could reconnect and make new friends with these wonderful women. They have brought such joy to my life and made me a better for person for knowing them.
I thank all of you and look forward to our monthly dinner meetings!
Friday, January 22, 2010
January 22,2010
Well another work week has come to an end! I am exhausted! I put in 48 hours this week even though we were off on Monday! My case load keeps growing and growing! Today I had 7 appointments scheduled. They all showed up along with 10 walk in's. I had to see 2 of them as they had shut off's on their utilities. The other 8 i scheduled for next week!
I just read online that WV's unemployment rate is up 8.6%! My case load is up everyday! When is the government going to start turning things around? How much longer can these people go without work? How much longer can I keep my sanity!
Then I come home and sit here and watch the telethon for Haiti and I think to myself how lucky I am to grow up in a country that has public water, public sewage, public utilities to keep me warm and to keep me cool! A country that provides me with a good education, that doesn't discriminate against me because I am a female, of Polish desent and of the Catholic faith!
Yes, I need to thank God everyday for my life! We all need to thank God for our life! We live in one of the greatest countries in the world and we also need to thank God for that! There are not to many countries that open their hearts, their arms and their wallets to help a little country like Haiti! Yes, we need to thank God every minute we are awake for what he has given us and what we have done with it
I just read online that WV's unemployment rate is up 8.6%! My case load is up everyday! When is the government going to start turning things around? How much longer can these people go without work? How much longer can I keep my sanity!
Then I come home and sit here and watch the telethon for Haiti and I think to myself how lucky I am to grow up in a country that has public water, public sewage, public utilities to keep me warm and to keep me cool! A country that provides me with a good education, that doesn't discriminate against me because I am a female, of Polish desent and of the Catholic faith!
Yes, I need to thank God everyday for my life! We all need to thank God for our life! We live in one of the greatest countries in the world and we also need to thank God for that! There are not to many countries that open their hearts, their arms and their wallets to help a little country like Haiti! Yes, we need to thank God every minute we are awake for what he has given us and what we have done with it
Monday, January 18, 2010
Martin Luther King Day
I guess as children we never fully understood the significance of what Martin Luther King did for our nation. I took a class on Martin Luther King and Malcolm X when I was in college. It was one of my favorite classes and an eye opening experiece that made me wish I had been born before 1961 as I would of liked to have marched in the freedom marches.
After what happened to me on Friday, January 15, 2010 I truly believe I would of been the first person in line to march with Dr. King. No man has the right to tell another what they can say or do, how they should vote or that they can not vote because of the color of their skin. Nor for that matter can they tell an employee what they can post on their Facebook page!
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and no one has the right to tell me what I can say in public or post on my Facebook page or my blog!
Happy Birthday Dr. King and thank you!
After what happened to me on Friday, January 15, 2010 I truly believe I would of been the first person in line to march with Dr. King. No man has the right to tell another what they can say or do, how they should vote or that they can not vote because of the color of their skin. Nor for that matter can they tell an employee what they can post on their Facebook page!
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and no one has the right to tell me what I can say in public or post on my Facebook page or my blog!
Happy Birthday Dr. King and thank you!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Drug Testing for Welfare Receiptents
Someone has started a: "Drug Testing for Welfare Recipients" on Facebook. Before people start these pages and before people make their comments, they need to research their material and make sure they are stating the facts.
I have been an Economic Service Worker for the last 11 years. I determine eligibility for food stamps and medicaid. The welfare check is a separate unit in the State of WV.
Let me quote you some policy. If you have been convicted of a drug felony on or after August 23, 1996 you can not qualify for food stamps. If you have children and or a spouse, they can! If you work and you are excluded from the stamps because of the drug felony your income counts against the household.
In Brooke and Hancock County you do not have to work to receive food stamps. In other counties you have to. Because unemployment is so bad in those two counties the state asked for a waiver from the federal government to exclude these recipients from working for their stamps. There are other counties in WV that follow our policy also but I don't know what counties. Since I have been at this job that policy has been in effect. That is how bad unemployment is in our area.
If a person receives a welfare check it is now put on a debit card. They cannot make cash withdrawals from an ATM with this card. It can only be used at stores as a debit card. I am not knowlegible with the check policy but I do know that if you are a convicted drug felon you can not be on the check but the rest of your family can be.
Yes, there are times when I want to scream "why aren't you working?" but I can't. I have to help that person. And until you have sat behind my desk and done my job you have no idea what these people are going through. And who knows one day you could be sitting on the other side of my desk. So don't pass judgment on anyone as no one as that right. Only God does!
I have been an Economic Service Worker for the last 11 years. I determine eligibility for food stamps and medicaid. The welfare check is a separate unit in the State of WV.
Let me quote you some policy. If you have been convicted of a drug felony on or after August 23, 1996 you can not qualify for food stamps. If you have children and or a spouse, they can! If you work and you are excluded from the stamps because of the drug felony your income counts against the household.
In Brooke and Hancock County you do not have to work to receive food stamps. In other counties you have to. Because unemployment is so bad in those two counties the state asked for a waiver from the federal government to exclude these recipients from working for their stamps. There are other counties in WV that follow our policy also but I don't know what counties. Since I have been at this job that policy has been in effect. That is how bad unemployment is in our area.
If a person receives a welfare check it is now put on a debit card. They cannot make cash withdrawals from an ATM with this card. It can only be used at stores as a debit card. I am not knowlegible with the check policy but I do know that if you are a convicted drug felon you can not be on the check but the rest of your family can be.
Yes, there are times when I want to scream "why aren't you working?" but I can't. I have to help that person. And until you have sat behind my desk and done my job you have no idea what these people are going through. And who knows one day you could be sitting on the other side of my desk. So don't pass judgment on anyone as no one as that right. Only God does!
Friday, January 15, 2010
January 15, 2010
I should of known today was going to be a bad day when I woke up with a headache at 6:30 this morning! So I took by Excerdin Migraine and off to work I go!
Right before lunch I get called into my supervisors office and told to close the door! As I sit down in the chair across from her desk I am thinking "what did I do now?"
I am being repremanded about a post I posted on my Facebook page regarding Governor Joe Manchin! I looked at her and said "what"! "Are you kidding me?". She said no she was called into her superviors office and told to tell me I am not to post remarks about Governor Manchin on my Facebook page!
She then asked what I had posted. I told her I posted my blog comments regarding the fact that WV is going to lose millions of dollars now that PA and OH have approved table gaming. I told her about the post I made regarding the email I sent to the Governor regarding the fact that last winter when Kanawha County was getting hammered by a snow storm he closed down the state offices! Even though it was not snowing in Hancock County, we had to go home. Hancock County received the storm over night but yet we had to report to work the next day! I stated in my letter that I thought it was unfair that Hancock County got dumped on last week but we had to report to work but yet he closed state offices last year when his county got hammered.
I was told by my supervisor that I am not to make comments regarding the governor on facebook that if I have a problem with the governor I am to follow the chain of command in the office!
I then advised her it was my constitutional right as an American to voice my opinion. Has the State of WV never heard of Freedom of Speech? What I do in the privacy of my own home and what I post on my Facebook page is my buisness and my right as an American.
I did not threaten the governor, I did not call him names, I did not say what I thought of him, I did not critize the way he runs the state! I did not mention the fact that his daughter was granted a degree she never earned!
As a taxpayer, a voter, a resident of the state of WV and as an American Citizen I have the right to voice my opinion on any matter I want to. I have the right to write this blog and I have the right to put whatever I want on Facebook or any web page for that matter.
My parting words to my supervisor were: "Can we say lawsuit?"
Right before lunch I get called into my supervisors office and told to close the door! As I sit down in the chair across from her desk I am thinking "what did I do now?"
I am being repremanded about a post I posted on my Facebook page regarding Governor Joe Manchin! I looked at her and said "what"! "Are you kidding me?". She said no she was called into her superviors office and told to tell me I am not to post remarks about Governor Manchin on my Facebook page!
She then asked what I had posted. I told her I posted my blog comments regarding the fact that WV is going to lose millions of dollars now that PA and OH have approved table gaming. I told her about the post I made regarding the email I sent to the Governor regarding the fact that last winter when Kanawha County was getting hammered by a snow storm he closed down the state offices! Even though it was not snowing in Hancock County, we had to go home. Hancock County received the storm over night but yet we had to report to work the next day! I stated in my letter that I thought it was unfair that Hancock County got dumped on last week but we had to report to work but yet he closed state offices last year when his county got hammered.
I was told by my supervisor that I am not to make comments regarding the governor on facebook that if I have a problem with the governor I am to follow the chain of command in the office!
I then advised her it was my constitutional right as an American to voice my opinion. Has the State of WV never heard of Freedom of Speech? What I do in the privacy of my own home and what I post on my Facebook page is my buisness and my right as an American.
I did not threaten the governor, I did not call him names, I did not say what I thought of him, I did not critize the way he runs the state! I did not mention the fact that his daughter was granted a degree she never earned!
As a taxpayer, a voter, a resident of the state of WV and as an American Citizen I have the right to voice my opinion on any matter I want to. I have the right to write this blog and I have the right to put whatever I want on Facebook or any web page for that matter.
My parting words to my supervisor were: "Can we say lawsuit?"
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I just returned from seeing "The Blind Side" with my mother. It is bargain night at our local theatre. What an amazing movie! We both cried happy tears thru the whole movie! What an amazing story about an amazing human being. I never realized until this movie how lucky I am! Yeah, my childhood was not perfect by any means! I have been in therapy most of my adult life dealing with childhood issues but I still feel that I am lucky to have grown up with two parents, a nice warm home, three meals a day (sometimes more), nice clothes, etc.
I guess none of us realize how good we have it until we see a movie like this! I highly recommend it! It will open your eyes to everything we take for granted!
We need to Thank God everyday for what he has blessed us with! And we need to start being a little nicer to everyone even strangers! We never know when our life could be turned around and we arent' so lucky anymore!
I guess none of us realize how good we have it until we see a movie like this! I highly recommend it! It will open your eyes to everything we take for granted!
We need to Thank God everyday for what he has blessed us with! And we need to start being a little nicer to everyone even strangers! We never know when our life could be turned around and we arent' so lucky anymore!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Reality Stars
As I approach the check out line at Krogers this evening I pick up this weeks issue of People Magazine as I do every week. And who is gracing this week's cover? None other than the biggest reality star of all time: Kate Gosselin and her new look!
I sit down to watch my 7:00 show: Inside Edition and what is the second story: Kate Gosselin and her new boyfriend. I watch Entertainment Tonight at 7:30 and what is the second story on that show: Kate Gosselin and her new look and her new boyfriend! Then the 3rd story is about Jon Gosselin and his new twenty-five year old girlfriend. Have we not seen enough of these people? Have they not had their 15 mintues of fame? Isn't it time that the two of them went out and got a real job? Isn't time the general public stopped supporting these two?
Why is the public so facinated with the lives of others? And yes I am a reality show watcher. It started with "The Real World", then I went to "Dog The Bounty Hunter", "Little People, Big World". And now I am hooked on "Jersey Shores" and I can not beleive I am going to say this but I have even watched "Steven Segal -Law Man"! Oh God I can't believe I even admitted that one! What draws us to these shows and what keeps us coming back each week? Is it that there are no more good sitcom's on tv, no good drama's on tv or have we just become to lazy in our life to do something more constructive then sitting on a couch and watching these shows week after week? I have tons of books here to read about 4 weeks of magaiznes to read but yet here I sit watching my tv! What has become of us? What has the media world done to us?
One of my New's Year's Resolution is to quit watching so much tv and start doing more reading, doing some constructive things with my life! It is now January 11, 2010 - lets see how well I do at this resolution! I'll keep you posted. Signing off to watch "Two and A Half Men"
I sit down to watch my 7:00 show: Inside Edition and what is the second story: Kate Gosselin and her new boyfriend. I watch Entertainment Tonight at 7:30 and what is the second story on that show: Kate Gosselin and her new look and her new boyfriend! Then the 3rd story is about Jon Gosselin and his new twenty-five year old girlfriend. Have we not seen enough of these people? Have they not had their 15 mintues of fame? Isn't it time that the two of them went out and got a real job? Isn't time the general public stopped supporting these two?
Why is the public so facinated with the lives of others? And yes I am a reality show watcher. It started with "The Real World", then I went to "Dog The Bounty Hunter", "Little People, Big World". And now I am hooked on "Jersey Shores" and I can not beleive I am going to say this but I have even watched "Steven Segal -Law Man"! Oh God I can't believe I even admitted that one! What draws us to these shows and what keeps us coming back each week? Is it that there are no more good sitcom's on tv, no good drama's on tv or have we just become to lazy in our life to do something more constructive then sitting on a couch and watching these shows week after week? I have tons of books here to read about 4 weeks of magaiznes to read but yet here I sit watching my tv! What has become of us? What has the media world done to us?
One of my New's Year's Resolution is to quit watching so much tv and start doing more reading, doing some constructive things with my life! It is now January 11, 2010 - lets see how well I do at this resolution! I'll keep you posted. Signing off to watch "Two and A Half Men"
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
All the eggs in one baske
So we all know the saying: Don't put all your eggs in one basket"! Well the State of WV just did that when they made the main source of their revenue come from gambling. I have nothing against the gambling but I do have a problem with state depending on gambling money as their sole source of income. The state has done nothing to bring new buisness into our state nor has the city of Weirton or the county of Hancock try to bring buisness into our area. Everybody counted on Mountaineer Race Track and Wheeling Downs along with the cafe's to fund our budget.
Now the state of PA just passed table games! Can we say WTF? Now the state of WV is sweating as they know they are going to lose major revenue! It is time for our politicians to get their heads out of their asses and try and bring business in this state.
As an employee of the WV DHHR I can tell you there are more people receiving food stamps in our state then in the whole US. It is time to get West Virginia's back to work!
Now the state of PA just passed table games! Can we say WTF? Now the state of WV is sweating as they know they are going to lose major revenue! It is time for our politicians to get their heads out of their asses and try and bring business in this state.
As an employee of the WV DHHR I can tell you there are more people receiving food stamps in our state then in the whole US. It is time to get West Virginia's back to work!
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