Family

What makes a perfect family? Is there such a thing as a perfect family? And if there is what makes a perfect family? I am one of five children, the only girl and the oldest. My birth father waked out when I was 3 years old leaving my mom, myself and my two brothers: Michael and Mark. When I was 5 my birth father signed away his parental rights so that my step dad could adopt us. When I was 5 my brother Sean was born, when I was 11 my brother Brian was born. When I was 43 years of age my brother Sean quit speaking to me. When I was 47 my brother Brian quit speaking to me, when I was 49 my brother Mark quit speaking to me. I still have no idea what my brother Michael is doing. I thought when I was 47 he quit speaking to me but yet he came to visit me when I was 48. I have sent several correspondences to him but he has never replied to one of them. So i guess now at the age of 49 he has quit talking to me!

Now I know I am no angle or a saint or perfect in any way but beleive me my brothers aren't either. All though I do have to say that the two youngest were pretty good kids. Michael, Mark and myself being full blood related siblings have the worst of relationships. You would think that the three of us would have the best releationship. We have done things to each other over the years and one brother thinks he is better than us other two and caused a lot of pain to our parents over the years but we let it go for our mothers sake. We let go the fact that he would not acknowledge us in public, said mean hateful things to us, said mean hateful things to our parents, did not invite us to his wedding, did not allow us in his home until 14 years ago. We let that all go and tried our best to get along.

And you would think that after all this time bygones would be bygones but low and behold our little brother slapped us in the face once again by not acknowleding us as an aunt and an uncle to his son. So now once again a family feud has irrupted and it is all my fault. My fault that my feelings were hurt that no picture of me, or my other brother or my other nieces were put into a video he made for his son's graduation party! After all the free babysitting, all of my personal time I gave up to help out with football boosters so his son would have food to eat after a game, or water to drink during a game, or raising money to support the organization, after not missing one single football game, going to my nieces volleyball games, all the money put out for birthday presents, christmas presnets, easter presents. Do I need to go on. And the best part - I never got a thank you. Never a thank you for the babysitting, painting the stadium, giving gifts of money. Not one damn thank you.

And I have no right to be upset because my picture, my other brothers picture or my other nieces picture were left out of a video for my nephew to see all the people who have been there for him throughout his life and cared for him. I have every right to be upset. And because I am upset I have been banned from his life once again. Not that I will miss my brother but I will miss my niece and nephew.

To quote my brothers wife:"Life goes on". And it will for me. I have no anger or spite in me I have pitty for two people who will have nothing once their children are gone! And life will go on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mother's Day

Tomorrow is Mother's Day! Tomorrow will be my 49th Mother's Day with my mom. Of course I don't remember those Mother Day's when I was very young nor did I go all out in my teenage years. I would have to say that I really started putting thought into Mothers Day was when I was in my 30's. I have tried to make the last few really count.

I just called my mom an hour go and cried to her because I am sick. I have hives all over my face, legs and torso! Hives the day before Mother's Day. Now it was a lot more than the hives that made me cry. Menopause is kicking my ass and I called mom to tell her about my hives, my bad period and the mess it caused in my house. She sat and listend. She wanted to come over but I told her no that if the hives got worse I would call her so she could take me to the hospital. I am 49 years old and I still want my mom when I am sick. I still want comfort from my mom when I am sick.

My mom and I had some ruff times in the 49 years I have been on this earth. My teenage years were rebelous, my 20's were pretty wild, my 30's I finally moved out of the house. We still had some ruff years in my 30's. In my 40's we have finally become friends.

No matter how many times I treated her like shit, ignored her, yelled at her, rebelled against her or just plain told her I wanted no part of her. She never gave up on me. She continued to love me and continued to be my mom. And let me tell you I was not an easy child to raise. Because of some things that happened to me I took it out on her. And I did not realize until my 40's that I should of turned to her for help when all those things were happening to me and she could of made it better. But I didn't and now I wish I would of.

No matter how old we get we always need our mom's. I have no husband, I have no children but I have my mom and I hope and pray that God allows her to be with me here on Earth for a several more years.